Are You REALLY Ready for Marriage?
You’re REALLY not sure if you’re ready?
An absolutely beautiful dream of marital perfection and bliss is so often painted in the years leading up to marriage.
A beautiful wedding, breathtaking photos, a lifetime of memories built, and a dream life carefully crafted over the years together all are painted into the masterpiece imagery of marriage that so many of us have and desire. Rarely when we think of getting married do we think about the hard or messy times that are woven into marriage. The piles of laundry, the dirty dishes, the financial struggles, the challenges with the in-laws, or the numerous challenges that arise with having children.
Instead, before we enter into marriage our focus is so often placed on the beauty of our future love. This optimistic love saturated picture drives us forward towards our future, but it can also drive us straight into a wall if we are not ready for some of the hard realities of marriage.
The reality is marriage is hard.
It is not for the faint of heart and it is a commitment that will require you to dig deep every day as you choose to daily love and invest in your spouse, marriage, and family. It is HARD and it can also be BEAUTIFUL. When two people join their lives together, incredible things can happen, but this joining of lives is not simple. Your life is not simple and neither is your spouses. You both have become who you are over the lifetimes that you have each lived up to this point. As a result, it is going to take a lifetime together to build a marriage that is truly beautiful.
Successful and happy marriages do not simply happen to those who are the most in love. Instead, the happiest and most successful marriages are the ones that are worked for the hardest and are earned through blood, sweat, and tears. The marriages that last are the ones that are built by two people who recognize that both individuals are broken and are in need of healing. As problems arise in marriage, marriages that survive are built by people who close off the exit doors and who commit to sticking it out together for better or for worse. Marriages that are truly beautiful take more work than we can imagine and are more incredible than we can dream.
One of the greatest tools for success in marriage is found in creating a depth of resources to support you when the times will get tough…and they will absolutely get tough. Numerous marriage and relationship books have been written and they are strong guides for you to read over and over again as you embark on your marriage journey. Ideally you should start reading these books now, even before you are married!
The stronger the foundation that you can build now the better you will thrive when the storms arrive. Do not wait for times to get tough for you to start investing in building your relationship. Build while the times are still good and you will reduce the risk and depth of tough times in the future.
A second tool you should invest in for your marriage is the building of relationships. It is a highly valuable tool to have trusted people in your lives who you can trust and who you can use to confide in as challenges in your marriage arise. Build relationships with others who can have a positive impact on your lives and future. Read through a relationship book with a bunch of other married couples and provide time to discuss what you have learned and the challenges that you are working through. Go out for dinner on a weekly, bi-weekly, or even monthly basis to shake up your routine and socialize with other couples, friends, or family. Building strong relationships with people who love both of you and who have your best interest in mind will provide your marriage with added strength and power.
Marriage is hard, but it is absolutely worth it if you are willing to invest what is required for it to thrive.
If you’re still asking yourself if you’re ready for marriage after reading this article, then perhaps you need to hold off a bit. Before entering into marriage make sure that you are really ready for the investment that it is going to require, because it is going to require your complete love and sacrifice if it is going to ever become a marriage that is truly beautiful.
I sincerely hope this helps, if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask me!
<3 Deborah Reynolds