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Every relationship goes through three stages

  1. The initial bonding phase,
  2. The adjustment phase
  3. The long-term commitment phase.

Of these, the bonding phase is by far the most exciting as the guy and the girl both make active efforts to impress the other. They go out on dates often, buy each other gifts, share passionate kisses and make love 3-4 times a day!

However, this romantic frenzy slowly begins to wane and soon, the couple discover that a relationship is not just fun and games. They realize that a relationship also involves making adjustments, shouldering responsibilities and sacrificing some of their personal preferences in order to accommodate those of their partner. This is a very critical juncture and many relationships fail during this phase.

How To Rekindle A Relationship

If the couple does get through this period, the relationship evolves into the long-term commitment phase.

This is the phase where both the partners have accepted each other for who they are and have settled into a ‘stable’ relationship. Stability is essential for life but it is not always conducive to love. You may feel that you are not lovers anymore but merely roommates! Are you with me here? Things become boring and predictable – your love life seems to lack flair. 

Your guy is no more the charming gentleman that once swept you off your feet.

More likely, he has become a lazy, selfish creature that watches TV, drinks beer and then burps loudly and repulsively! You both seem to argue a lot or worse, you hardly talk to each other. A relationship is supposed to empower – it should make you feel like you can fly. However, yours probably feels more like a burden that is dragging you down. But before you jump to any conclusion, I request you to think about this a little. Are you simply complaining that your relationship sucks or are you making an active effort to rekindle it?  If the latter, let me show you step by step how to rekindle a relationship.

How to Keep a Man Happy

The fact that you are reading this article indicates that you do care. But simply caring does not help – you need to learn to channel your concern in a positive direction. The best and the easiest way to accomplish this is to start doing the things that you did in the first stage of your relationship and to stop doing all that you didn’t. This simple shift in perspective will ensure that your relationship has all the drama and intensity of the bonding phase whilst allowing you both to share the understanding of the commitment stage.

If you want to recreate all the anxiety and emotion that you once shared with your man, then here are some things that you should start doing immediately! 

1) Send him a flirtatious/romantic text message and do it right NOW! When was the last time you guys texted each other something mischievous and sexy? I want you to stop reading further and text him this very moment. Just a simple ‘I am having naughty thoughts about you!’ will suffice. Here is another one – ‘You bring sunshine into my life because you are just as hot as the sun!’ (Cheesy I know, but it works)

2) Invite him out on a date. Watching TV together does not qualify as a date. The same holds true for buying groceries, cleaning the house and so on. Make it a point to go out whenever you can and do something fun and original. Look up interesting things to do in your city. Go boating or attend salsa classes. Don’t be afraid to do something that seems outrageous. Try out some innocent pranks on strangers. You will be amazed at the amount of fun you can have by simply wearing a wacky costume or mask!

3) Pay attention to your appearance: Your man fell in love with the stylish, primped up girl that caught his eye, not the nagging broad in the bathrobe. Note this and remember it always. Have you put on weight? I know that it is impossible to look like you are dressed up for a party when you are actually cooking meals and doing the dishes but then, who said love came easy? Make it a point to look absolutely spectacular as often as possible. Make your man feel proud of you.

4) Be more social: This is very essential as friends help to create a merry environment and provide emotional, physical and intellectual stimulation. Throw a barbecue party once in a while. Don’t depend solely on each other for entertaining conversation. Having an active social life makes your relationship more dynamic. I know that this may sound a tad irrelevant now, but it really makes a huge difference in improving your relationship. So keep on expanding your social circle – after all, novelty is the essence of life!

5) Argue healthy: All couples argue. In fact, I even think that arguments are necessary for a mutually satisfying relationship. You need to be a bit demanding and you certainly need to have your say in matters that concern you. However, make sure that your arguments are healthy and not nasty. It is very easy to distinguish between healthy and nasty arguments – healthy arguments focus on solving a problem while nasty arguments involve insults and ‘blows below the belt’ which actually aggravate the problem.

Last but not the least; communicate with your man as much as possible. It helps to eliminate misunderstanding and helps to forge a strong bond of trust.  Try Sending a “Curiosity Magnet” text like you learn in “Text The Romance Back” (I did a full review of that product here)- this is GREAT training for those who want to learn how to text better, or want to re-kindle the romance in their current relationship and I HIGHLY recommend it!

As always, contact me or leave a comment if you have any questions!
<3 Deb

Posted on Jan 31, 2014

About the Author

Deborah is the owner of this site, a dating and relationship expert and a wife and mother to a wonderful husband and two twin girls.