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Before you even think about saving your marriage, I want you to consider three things:

1) Do you really want to spend the remainder of your life with your current husband?

2) Is he willing to make an effort to save the marriage?

Understand that marriage is a street with two-way traffic.

Things will not work out if only one partner makes sacrifices and compromises in order to maintain marital stability.

Saving a marriage is like rekindling a fire that is about to extinguish and it can be done only if BOTH partners are EQUALLY willing. Being stuck with a person who doesn’t give a damn about you is the worst thing that you can do to yourself.

So do not let yourself get exploited and please don’t give in to emotional bullying! So think hard before you proceed further.

3) Do you want to save your marriage for the right reasons? Do you want it for YOU or do you want to do it because you are afraid of what other people might think or say?

Now that you are clear about what you want, let’s get to the point. The following exercises will definitely help you to revive the lost spark in your relationship.

1) Identify and eliminate the habits that are having a detrimental effect on your marriage: These include addictions like alcoholism, drug addictions, gambling and so on. These are proven marriage killers and you need to get rid of them as soon as possible. Professional help is available at very affordable costs and sometimes even for free at various charitable institutions, churches and government subsidized organizations. Bad habits are not just limited to addictions – they also include others like laziness, procrastination, lying etc.

2) Both you and your partner should do this – Make a list of the things that you like about your other half and enlist 3 things that you dislike about them the most. This is a fun and non-confrontational way to communicate with your partner. Enjoy the ‘likes’, they will feel make you both feel wanted and appreciated. Work on eliminating the traits that your partner dislikes. You will notice that often this involves making some very minor changes.

3) Try to identify patterns that lead to arguments: Each argument follows a certain paradigm. Somebody says or does something that the other person doesn’t like. Then that person tries to get back by saying/doing something to make the other feel bad. This continues until the matter escalates into a very unpleasant quarrel. However, this can avoided if both of you get rid of the ‘taking revenge’ mentality. When your partner says or does something that you don’t like, talk to them instead of trying to take revenge!

4) Go out on romantic dates just like you did in the beginning of your relationship. You both have probably gotten used to seeing each other in insipid clothes like bath robes, shorts and the like. Looking sharp and sexy and spending quality time together is a sure way to trigger the chemistry!

5) If you forget everything else, just do this – Hug your partner and say ‘I love you’ every time you are angry with him/her! Works like magic!

6) Text Messaging – I know things are getting tough, but believe it or not there are quite a few GENUINE things you can say/do via text message to Text the Romance Back.    There is a full online course on this very subject called (ironically) text the romance back. I did a full review on the product which you can read here, in fact – Michael Fiore who created it was recently featured on the Rachael Ray show talking about it – see what SHE said about it here:  Rachael Ray on ‘Text the Romance Back’.

Michael Fiore and Rachel Ray

Posted on Dec 15, 2013

About the Author

Deborah is the owner of this site, a dating and relationship expert and a wife and mother to a wonderful husband and two twin girls.

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