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You can get almost any guy as long as you do not NEED him.


It is ok to WANT to a certain guy, but it is not ok to need him.

Neediness kills attraction – so as contradictory as it may sound. If you find yourself being attracted to a particular guy, go date other guys. Don’t ignore him completely, but do not focus all your attention solely on him.

Devoting all your time and energy to one single guy until you have agreed to be exclusive with him, is bad for you.

The habit is known as ‘Oneism’ in the dating and relationships community.

Oneism is a disease which drains you emotionally and makes you an unattractive woman. I don’t care if you are the most gorgeous woman on the planet – men will stop admiring you if they sense that you are insecure and desperate. They might appreciate your beauty and your sexuality, but they will not respect you enough to be exclusive with you.

Having said that, there is just one successful technique for getting guys to pursue you– It is known as the push-pull technique. Different gurus and experts use different terminology and ways to explain their techniques, but the basic principle of push-pull remains the same.

So what exactly does push-pull mean?

It means that you give, you keep giving and then you take away. So what exactly are you giving and to whom?

You are essentially dealing in emotions. You see a guy, you give him good emotions. You can do this buy looking fantastic, by having a phenomenal sense of style, by being confident, by having great body posture, by paying him a compliment, by having an entertaining conversation with him, by being humorous and so on. Make a man feel good for a while and then take away the good emotions.

You can do this by withdrawing yourself physically from his presence or by challenging and teasing him. When you withdraw, the guy begins to follow you.

Learn to become good at making men feel great.

Then pull away once a man becomes receptive. Make him chase you. Then make him feel good again, then withdraw again.

The process is very simple. Give good emotions, withdraw, repeat. This technique is theoretically foolproof. It works every time as long as you learn to give without coming across as needy. A great way to become attractive is to be process oriented rather than being outcome oriented. This means that you should not have any dependency on the outcome of your interaction with men. Just focus on enjoying the process.

This push-pull principle can seem a bit cold-hearted and mechanical for some women. Hence I encourage women to have fun while interacting with men. Keep these tips in mind while doing so:

  • A woman who is relaxed and having fun is naturally attractive.
  • She is in a good emotional and mental space and people sense sense this.
  • She gives good vibes to people all around her without even really trying to do so.
  • People crave those good vibes and follow her around. So the gist of attracting men is to enjoy yourself and to be carefree!

You can learn more about attraction by watching this free video presentation that reveals the TRUTH about what men SECRETLY want (but are too scared to tell you). 🙂

Posted on May 27, 2014

About the Author

Deborah is the owner of this site, a dating and relationship expert and a wife and mother to a wonderful husband and two twin girls.